Catch 22

Acting is quite an incredible adventure to embark on. So far as everyone knows, you can only get representation when you have work to show them, and you can only get work by having representation. So how, pray tell, does one get either/or to start? I don't know... if I did, I'd be working I guess. But, it is about who you know- and being skilled in the art of fellatio can't hurt.

But, it is more so about who you know. Tonight I had another showcasey audition thing in front of the newly formed Intrepid Talent Management and Judy Henderson Casting. They were awesome, and I think it went well, but nothing will surface unless I'm immediately useful to them. I have to not only be talented, but fit the part, be available, be liked by producers, and ultimately bend over backwards for anyone who stands in my acting career's way. It shouldn't discern anyone, and I don't think I'm saying anything you don't know, but the only thing that actually matters 110% in this business is persistence. Let's remember, everyone, that Dustin Hoffman was in New York 10 years before he'd had anything happen for him.

So, while I move forward... or even sideways is fine... I just have to remember that I do it because I love it and nothing more or nothing less. Life is too short to be doing something you don't love. And, any of you actors who are doing well and don't like what you're doing... thank you very much for stealing our jobs- lol. Thank god for graphic design- I'm fortunate enough to love a couple things that I'm talented at, that I can fall back on. Different from acting, but creative just the same.

The other day my dad lost his car keys. He had a spare, but the battery in the remote was dead so he couldn't automatically unlock his car. I mean, it's how everyone used to do it, but you know, you become used to auto unlocking and then its a pain in the ass to go back to the other way- to revert. And, if anyone has ever bought a new remote for their car, they know that it is an expensive-ass piece of plastic- let's say $200 or so.

A couple days later, I was rushing around and realized I had lost my keys. I checked everywhere I could think of as quick as I could so I could still make my train into the city. I didn't find them in time so I took the spare set and went about my day.

A couple days after that, I was going to do background work for Law and Order, and I wanted to wear this particular pair of shoes because it was supposed to be some high-fashion club scene. When I was throwing all my wardrobe stuff into the suitcase, I noticed something in one of my shoes, and i was thinking, "Yes I found my keys!" But, I quickly realized they were my dad missing keys. Then I was thinking, "Of course I found my dad's keys and not my own." So, by now I was determined to find my keys- mind you this was at 1:30 am on a night I was only going to have 2 1/2 hours of sleep. So, I proceeded to tear my room apart... alas, still no keys.

I told my dad, I found his key in my shoe (however, he was a lot less surprised then I had imagined). But, I told him i still couldn't find mine- and, I was thinking I was never going to find them. I proceeded to go about my next whole day and night. Then this morning, when I was leaving my boyfriends house, I was about to start my car with the spare set, and out of the corner of my eye noticed a combination of metal and plastic shimmering in that spot between the driver's seat and the console where spare change usually falls- it was my keys!! So, in a fit of triumph and victory I stuck the spare set in the cup holder and started my car with my own keys.

Points of accomplishment:

- two moments of triumph for the price of one set of my own lost keys

- an outrageously relatable slice of american life

-I'm my dad's hero

Analogous Cookie

I got off the train at Hicksville Station and there was a Girl Scout table set up at the bottom of the stairs. I usually order them from someone with a daughter, but spontaneously decided I wanted some cookies. I was dying for a Samoa- the best Girl Scout cookie invented- but they didn't have any left. I didn't want to leave disappointed about the Samoas, so I decided to go with the Tag-A-Long- the second best Girl Scout cookie invented. I gave the dad my $3.50 and walked away from the table completely satisfied with my purchase. I started walking back to where my car was parked, eating a few of the cookies, and realized that I was just looking for a cookie.

Had I gotten the coveted Samoas, I probably would have eaten the box by the time I drove up to my house. Instead, I was able to consume a few Tag-A-Longs and still had most of a box to offer to my family when I got home.

I wanted a box of Samoas, but all I really needed was a few tasty Tag-A-Longs.

Arrested

Cop#1: ...Social Security Number, please...

Alex: ***... **... ****

Cop#1: ...place of birth....

Alex: uh, here, i guess.... East Meadow... hey, if she didn't have bail for me, would I have been able to pay with my credit card?

Cop#1: ...no, it's a cash bail only... occupation?...

Alex: I'm an actor.

Cop#2: (calls from the other room) HE'S UNEMPLOYED!

Alex: (laughs out loud) hahaha.. yeah, you're pretty much right.

I was about to ask him "so, which college lacrosse team were you not skilled enough to make the cut?", but i figured he's the one with the key to these cuffs- and a gun for that matter- so let's not piss him off.

Thank you very kindly State Park Police (of Jones Beach)... I wouldn't have expected anything more out of you. You made my night.

Inciting Incident.

Last Friday, I had the pleasure of once again working on the set of the hit television show that I have never watched before, Gossip Girl. For those of you who don't know, Gossip Girl is an outrageously contrived story about late-teen/ early-twenty-somethings who, from what I understand, have sex behind each others' backs, use their friends to their advantage, go to 1920s parties with Hillary Duff, and turn gay- but I digress.

Throughout my background acting days, I have had the chance to run into people whom I would probably never have crossed paths with on any other day. Particularly a man by the name of Joe Pryor. Joe is a large black bodyguard for the little tween girls and boys of Gossip Girl who has a UFC fighting exterior, but, what I had found out that day, an incredibly gentile and sophisticated interior.

It was towards the end of the day and I hadn't been used up until this point, but they finally decided to take me to set. While I was waiting on set to be used as the blur that is Alex, Joe and myself got caught up in an enlightening, half whispered, half bellowed little discussion- depending on if the cameras were rolling or not. It was one of those conversations where I merely shot short and concise inquisitions at him to which he would respond in four pages or less... we talked about a motivational book he's writing entitled F.O.C.U.S (from opportunity comes ultimate success), a screenplay he's trying to slim down... I won't bore you with my every memory of the scene but I will try highlight the main points without making it sound too preachy:

• any idea that enters your brain is your idea only
• if you don't act on your ideas, no one else will
• write everything down; you may not understand why an idea happened, but you may know (and put it to good use) years later
• every idea is an opportunity

....So, I never wound up being utilized in the Matthew Williamson boutique scene, and Mr.Pryor and I decided that maybe I worked that day in order to hear what he had to say. I got paid that day to read Paul McCartney's biography and hear something inspiring. All in all it wasn't a bad day... even for Gossip Girl.

Already, I have put his words to good use. I started strumming my guitar two nights ago and decided that I happened upon a decent song. I wrote most of the Dylan-esque song and all of the lyrics within 15 minutes. I guess if an idea is any good, it won't take all that long for it to surface..... it was quickly entitled, but the whole point is that i wrote something down and now it has feet.

Insipired by Boxcars

I thought it was today that I would do something great.

I thought it was today that I'd succeed.

I thought it was today that things would fall into place.

But I guess it was tomorrow.

I thought it was today that I would fall in love with you.

I thought it was today that I'd love again.

I thought it was today that future plans would resonate.

But I guess it was tomorrow.

And how come you don't think I'm ever thinking straight?

And why don't you see what I see?

And what do you feel when i'm feeling something new?

And when will you come to your senses?

I thought it was today that I would know just what to say.

I thought it was today that I'd arrive.

I thought it was today that things happiness would show its face.

But I guess it was tomorrow.

But I guess it was tomorrow.

...thanks Big Joe